Golden Globes '24: Someone sack Selena's stylist
Happy Monday to Ayo Edebiri, and Ayo Edebiri, only
Everyone over their hangovers? Great. Now actual January begins.
Let’s start by ushering in the New Year with our first red carpet review (pause for applause). Just a tiny disclaimer—no, we didn’t watch the awards show live—we're based in Europe and sleep is, well, everything. Waking up this morning meant that the internet had done all the hard work while the rest of us enjoyed a good scroll.
The DRAMA (they’re actors lol) that ensued at this year's Golden Globes, please. Selena Gomez bursting at the seams with gossip for Taylor & Co was like a scene out of Mean Girls (2004 OG, not this new sh*te). That girl needs to understand that Kylie Jenner allows pics for no one - let alone her property, unless her momanger, Kris has given the all clear. Even then, it'll cost you.
The Golden Globes is, for all intents and purposes, a celebration of those with real talent. Timothée, fine, we get it. His mother girlfriend? Not so much. Kylie knows that Reality TV won’t ever make the nomination list, right? Those ad break PDAs definitely say otherwise.
Selena girl, GTFU.
To the looks.
Ayo Edebiri
Ayo looks practically perfect in Prada. It’s chic, it’s dramatic, but it’s subdued. While we’d love to have seen some jewellery on her—a diamond bracelet paired with statement earrings—she’s sitting at 9, the gems would’ve moved her to a sweet 10.5. Alas, we thank her for her service: looking and living like a winner.
Taylor Swift
It’s giving leftover Quality Street from Christmas…
On a more serious note, she does look stunning. The gown fits like a glove and the colour carries on the festive theme. But wait, what’s with the hair? That fringe is so long it’s starting to compete with her list of exes at this point.
Emma Stone
Ohhh how close we were to adding Emma Stone to our preddies list as ‘the star who will surprisingly carry the red carpet looks this year’! She looks... nice and pretty. That's it. Her inimitable glow is just about the only thing stopping her from completely disappearing into the backdrop.
That Louis Vuitton contract can not be helping her either. Ghesquière gowns are a far cry from exemplary. Emma, you poor, poor thing.
Pedro Pascal
Wait, what happened to daddy’s arm? Nevertheless, we love, love, love this Bottega look. When everyone else’s look was screaming, “look at me!”, Pedro’s look simply whispered, “lewk at me”.
Timothée Chalamet
It’s an effective look. It did what it needed to do, and in all honesty, Hedi Slimane’s tailoring is perfect for Timmy. What’s more surprising is that he hasn’t fronted a Celine campaign, yet.
Mark our words, Timothée would be the perfect face for Slimane’s vision, which is often about offering a compelling alternative to the era of Indie Sleaze.
Selena Gomez
Somewhere in Caprese salad’s past life, Selena’s dress is the tomato that longed to break free from the mozzarella and live its life in complete and utter solitude. In reality, this look is giving stage-thrown rotten tommys. Selena babe, sack the stylist?
Billie Eilish
How very ‘Alex-Vause-as-a-young-adult-forced-to-attend-her-annoying-straight-sister’s-bat-mitzvah’ of her. This look shoulda, woulda and coulda been a serve if it wasn’t for obvious rebel against good tailoring. Almost all the ingredients were there, we were just missing the sauce.
Greta Lee
The eye-bawler that was Past Lives. Celine Song, you will always be famous. Thank you for also casting the illuminating star that is Greta Lee, she shone in that film just as she shone on the carpet. And to soak in all the glory in custom Loewe? She’s takin it? All of the (slay) awards.
Natasha Lyonne
The dress of a thousand repurposed deli counter tickets. Serving nothing but cold cuts, sliced cheeses and Perello olives.
Rosamund Pike
Rosamund, Verity’s asking if she can borrow this look for next week? (Nana, you would’ve loved this fit).
This look? It’s iconic. We’re gagged and in sheer disbelief that Maria Grazia Chiuri was able to conjure something this good.
Margot Robbie
Someone smack their pretty little head on the pavement on the way in? Margot, love, no one is bothered by Barbiecore anymore. Move on. Andrew Mukamal meanwhile, we’ve got to ask, how can you live with yourself? That dress absolutely could have fit better.
Hunter Schafer
Fangirling (metaphorically and physically) over Hunter's Prada moment. Also, we did predict that we’d be breezing through the year with lighter threads. Watch this space.
Barry Keoghan
Two things: 1) The suit is an eyesore. 2) He looks like Ellen DeGeneres’ evil twin. That is, if you can get any eviler.
Jeremy Allen White
Finally, a Calvin Klein look we can both get behind.
Kholi reckons White’s latest CK campaign looks like something out of a Baz Luhrmann film, in which Jeremy stars as a ‘himbo hobbit’. Verity is not amused.
Cillian Murphy
Ahhh, our other father. So handsome. So elegant. So charming.
Fantasia Barrino
The slay train must’ve run out steam because gurl, the bottom half of this dress is purple, but it’s also a piece of sh*t. Yeah, we said it.
Florence Pugh
No comment. No wait, actually, our only comment is that she must be going through the same trapeze artist craze as P!nk?
Lenny Kravitz
Last but by no means least, it was nice of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit of fashion to drop by. Lenny, we are but mere mortals.
a few faves we didn't get to mention: Tyler James Williams, Pom Klementieff, Jonathan Bailey & Dula Peep <3