For the girls that don't get it
You can take Bey out of Texas...
Aaaand we’re back to brewing some good ol’ tea. Grab a saucer and biccy!
AND THE AWARD DOES NOT GO TO
Kicking things off with a PSA. No, this won’t be a dedicated Grammys red carpet review like the one we published for the Golden Globes. Sorry, love, but we save those for high-quality people looks.
On a serious note, nothing at the Grammys gave. So naturally, we had nothing to give. Obv, there were a few hits here and there; shoutout to Dua Lipa, Coi Leray, Miley Cyrus and Doja Cat—you successfully managed to make your peers look bad. Gold stars all round!
Sauntering along the red carpet like a phoenix without the buccal fat, Miley really said let’s rev up the drama in Margiela - and what perfect timing. After THAT couture show, Galliano is awake and living after his long slumber of shame, referencing his own work like a master craftsman. Two things, 1) John, we beg of you to keep delivering the goods (while both sober and civil) and 2) Miley, girl, give your team a raise.
A quick detour to reflect on the comeback fashun is making. Case in point: Marc Jacobs’ Spring '24 Ready-to-Wear collection. See! This is what happens when you play with proportions in a way that flatters the human form - no need for gimmicks. Demna, darling, maybe you wanna start taking notes?
Back to the Grammys! Tea sippers, here's a rundown of what was lacking on the red carpet: personality, fun and flavour. Where was the seasoning? The salt?!
Taylor, accolades and shameless album drops aside (Swifties gonna come for us), has an inherent need to wear mediocre outfits. Our theory? She dresses this badly on purpose to appear more relatable and somewhat attainable to her army of fans. She is, after all, fairy godmother to the girls who can not think outside their own box of bland. So why not dress like them? Dressing like a star (hi, Zendaya) would only serve as a reminder that she isn't like them.
The more likely theory? Money can’t buy taste, no matter how much you're raking in.
When the limit for styling possibilities are endless, wear Schiaparelli. What else? It looked like the pumpkin spice latte-drinking girl's girl was about to serve last Sunday. Too bad then that she ended up giving us Schiaparelli for the 'everything must go' enthusiasts. The side swept fringe? The toes clinging on for dear life? There was just too much faff and fannying about. Like we said, money...
You know who else left us scratching our little heads?
In what feels like an almost permanent fixture, Beyoncé's bleached (!!) hair has sparked whispers of a new era, perhaps a Renaissance part deux?
The Hive's speculation about this fresh epoch might actually hold water. Beyoncé, still weary from Kanye embarrassing her and Taylor Swift back in 2009, suffered a dose of déjà vu after husband Jay Z ran almost the same lines in his speech. Her exhaustion is palpable.
It’s evident in her hair, bleached to the brink of no return, that it’s high time she shed that look; the launch of her new hair care line, CÉCRED, couldn't be more timely.
Speaking of Jay Z’s speech, let’s unpack a portion of it real quick. He said (whilst clutching an award):
“I don’t want to embarrass this young lady, but she has more Grammys than everyone and never won album of the year. So, even by your own metrics, that doesn’t work. Think about that. The most Grammys, never won album of the year. That doesn’t work.”
While he made some good points, the 'young lady comment’ was a bit… controlling. Flashback to the grooming claims (her 19, him 31 when they started dating) swirling around Jay Z long before his dear friend and partner in crime, Diddy, faced a slew of allegations. Mess!
Anyway, Jay said what he said, while Bey stood there in a Rodeo look by Louis Vuitton under Pharrell. It was a Western disaster unfolding before our eyes. The pleather-like material and the studs adorning the Damier were garish AF, and as loud as they appeared, failed to make a statement. The studded bow seemed out of place, akin to an introverted concierge, while the cowboy hat and LV belt didn't quite hit the mark.
Classic Bey, giving us a look that is everything, everywhere, all at once. She can’t help herself. It brings to mind a quote from My Year of Rest and Relaxation: "Charm is not a hairstyle. You either have it or you don't. The more you try to be fashionable, the tackier you’ll look."
If Tay and Bey share one thing, it's their knack for diluting the haute in haute couture. Blue Ivy, save us! Please!
But since Blue is 12 years old, we’ll have to leave it to wiser, more experienced folk in the industry to deliver. Friends, *Zac Posen has entered the chat*. As the new creative director of GAP, we’re hoping he’ll infuse some of that couture magic into everyday dressing.
Call us delulu but we’re excited to see what this new chapter brings.
Turning a Blind Eye, Or Two
Topping the list of things that are just asking for trouble, meet Apple’s latest invention. No, those aren’t some glorified skiing goggles, they’re the brand’s answer to turning a blind eye on the current state of our society.
For a cool few thousand, techies in the US have found a new way to flaunt their tiny d*cks with what Apple are calling the Vision Pro. RHOC says it all.
Pop on a pair of Pros and *drumroll* you’re greeted with a literal window into the male gaze. Despite being a woman in a male-dominated industry like tech, the product manager behind the gadget clearly did not prioritise or champion initiatives aimed at supporting and protecting women. Nothing says 'Hi, I'm now an even bigger target!' than one of us girlies walking down the street in a pair of flashy and very expensive VPs.
Humans need to evolve without eyes, it’s all they deserve.
Onto someone who definitely did think about ALL of us, Edward Enninful.
To the man who crafted British Vogue’s most iconic covers, we honour and simply adore you! The refrain from featuring a fruit fly (Kardashian/Jenner) on the cover did not go unnoticed.
Treat Yourself Because No One Else Will
Plans for V-Day? Try indulging in the Zalando designer edit (apologies if you’re not based in Europe) feat. the icon that is Rina Sawayama. Also, a quick round of applause for the copywriting too (Verity, great job!).
Go on, treat yourself:
When ‘eat your heart out’ translates into denim
A little bling to make your heart sing
But if silver accessories aren’t your thing
Ufff! Imagine pairing these bad boys with the gold hoops?
Seashells, SEA how good she looks?
A top that positively screams, 'all eyes on me, me, me'
Hoping to see a few of these looks on the street style during Fashion Week? We might not have scored invites (yet), but we'll be keeping a close eye. Stay tuned!