Biased? Maybe. We're May Geminis, obviously this month hits a little different. One week in, and that public holiday was a much-needed breather (and with more to come), and well, spring, thank f*ck you finally showed up!
May also means the Met Gala, but this year's theme, apparently a little too conceptual and hard to grasp, turned Monday night's earthen-looking carpet into a spot for celebs who either missed the mark or took things far too literally. Pity.
Confusion around the theme: 'Sleeping Beauties: Reawakening Fashion', versus the actual dress code: 'The Garden of Time', was, let’s be honest, rife. For clarity, the Costume Institute's exhibition focused on 400 years of fashion history, featuring designs by Schiaparelli, Dior, Givenchy, as well as garments too fragile to be worn ever again.
It’s no secret that Jonathan Anderson and John Galliano OWNED the night. Those boys are booked and busy! If there’s one thing this blessed wretched industry will do (and do well) is give its flowers to a white man—a reality that made this year's dress code even more fitting.
Described by Andrew Bolton, head curator of the Anna Wintour Costume Center at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, as "an ode to nature and the emotional poetics of fashion," the expectation was about delivering groundbreaking looks that delved deeper into the essence of nature while reflecting on the passage of time, as well as the transient beauty of existence. ‘Florals for spring’ just wasn't gonna cut it.
That said, let’s at least try and tend to the garden, shall we?
Zendaya
Law Roach really said “one for the money, two for the show”, and this lewk was the first act. Before we get into it, can we just say something about the glam?! Pat McGrath, you really are something special. The way she’s able to convey the passage of time through the makeup, reminiscent of a wilted rose, while the gown served as the sole support resembling a stem flourishing into life. It's a striking juxtaposition of life and death, perfectly echoed in the glam against the gown. Now, THAT is poetry.
The second act, however, should be where the real action and entertainment begins. Or so we’d hoped…
It's a tad too literal for our liking. Although visually striking, the real gag is in Law Roach’s knack for mining the archives rather than relying on the look itself. Yes, Law and Zendaya nailed the brief, but could this look have shone brighter with just one standout piece? This duo have been in a league of their own for a long, long time, but it’s starting to feel as if the slay train is finally running out of steam.
Law, girl, are you losing your magic touch? Only time will tell.
Kylie Jenner
Look who clearly isn’t 6 months preggers. Timmy, mate, you may have just saved your skin career. Also, this look is befitting of her—stunningly bland. NEXT!
Lana Del Rey
Lana we are so sorry he did you dirty like this! It’s giving vines committing fashion crimes.
The look was meant to nod to Alexander McQueen’s Savage Beauty collection, but like, what was that? It might do Seán McGirr some good to actually research McQueen's art of mastering the balance of fantasy and rebellion in fashion without veering into costume territory, unlike whatever disaster this was. Given that McGirr's predecessors were renowned for their impeccably tailored aesthetics, we'd expect him to take notes and maybe, just maybe, use his probation period to sharpen his sewing skills, especially when it comes to his OWN creations.
Where McQueen’s talent was limitless, McGirr’s is limiting. We gotta ask: why is s(he) in, when all s(he) does is give SHEIN?
Billie Eilish Sydney Sweeney
Alright, Snow White, wrap it up! She should’ve skipped this one and stayed in her eternal slumber. Alas, it’s apparent that a prince did what most princes do and ruin her nap. The dwarfs and cute woodland creatures were a no-show, for obvious reasons. Again, NEXT!
Kendall Jenner
Funny how Kendall actually nailed the exhibition's theme because, wow, did she bore us to sleep. Beautiful girl, stunning gown, but the vibes were off. You can pay for style, but you can’t buy sass. Maybe in another lifetime, hey Kendall?
Bad Bunny
Veni, vidi, vici! It’s giving Cunt, sorry, Count Axel. Bad Bunny, stayed true to the theme, 'The Garden of Time', inspired by J.G. Ballard’s 1962 story. Amidst a crystal garden, Axel and his wife face an advancing army, fending it off by plucking flowers to reverse time until none, or at least in Bunny’s case, only a few remain. But where, we wonder, is the wife?
Gwendoline Christie
Ah, there she is! Sadly, lightning have strucketh twice, leaving the Count to fend for himself.
In all seriousness, though, we LOVE the drama of it all.
Taylor Russell
The tree of life in human form. We’re obsessed! A hard launch of Taylor and Harry would’ve been something extra. Maybe next time.
Barry Keoghan
Not Burberry making Barry look like he’s about to partake in mischief. Somebody give that man a pot of gold, please!
Troye Sivan
Troye sticking to what he knows best and digging into the Prada archives. This is cute, but we still don’t get it. Maybe sitting this one out would've been wiser, sweetheart?
Kim Kardashian
Ah, Kim. Skims founder, champion of body positivity. Why is it that she just can’t embody those same values?
Flaunting an excessively cinched waist (thanks, Galliano), what's troubling is that Kim is ready to embrace body distortion for style's sake, but then draws the line at experimenting with a quirky makeup look or wild hairstyle (opting for a basic, tired bleached do as her limit). Girl, sack your stylist?
Elle Fanning
A perfect example of ‘brief received, look delivered’. (Congrats, Olivier!) Fashion is alive and well!
Nicole Kidman
We’re all for embracing ‘le bush’, but there’s a (bikini) line. We're not advocating for a Brazilian wax, but Balenciaga? Nicole, queen, leave that brand behind.
Josh O'Connor
Prince Charles but just on the edge of gimmicky. We’re kind of into it. The tailcoat is fab btw!
Ayo Edebiri
Hmm, is that Topshop or Loewe? This look required a better fit and more care—maybe a cinched waist and a fuller skirt? Sorry, Ayo.
Jaden and Willow Smith
Why do these two always look like they're stuck in perpetual adolescence?
Michell Yeoh
Question: how many sandwiches have you seen wrapped in this look?
Also, what happened to the theme? Oh, wait, we get it. Recycled goods? Giving back to nature? Is that the Garden of Time? Ask Demna.
Doja Cat
Speaking of, did Guram, Demna's lil’ brother and Vetements CD, really say, "Dress your muse in a T-shirt for the ‘21 Met Gala? Let me outdo that!”
The girls are fighting and it’s petty as hell.
Greta Lee
The hair, the understated glam, the column dress. UH! That dramatic high neckline has us swooning. Seán McGirr, again, take notes!
Tyla
Our South African fave ditched water to embrace something new, something dry but something still fly for her Met Gala debut.
The dress, crafted from actual sand (hence the hourglass, duh!), was moulded to Tyla's body, requiring assistance to ascend those stairs. We’re also obsessed with how her escorts cradled her like the DOLL that she is. 10/10!
Olivia Colman Michelle Williams
What in the is-that-you-Olivia-Colman is this? Oh no, that's right. Styled by Kate Young. Rarely a serve with that one.
Adwoa Aboah
H&M chose utter chaos with the high-fashion girlies; kicking up dirt and stomping on those little weeds (Oscar de la Renta, Prada, Balenciaga, etc., were shaking!). It's giving cherry on the cake. It's giving forbidden fruit. This look is fatally good.
Also, she’s PREGNANT? Since when?!
Demi Moore
There are mothers, and then there's Demi Moore. Gliding across that plush carpet like the graceful bird of paradise she is. Yes, Your Highness, we were famished; thank you for feeding us with a lewk to remember. And that Cartier necklace? To squawk for!
Jennifer Lopez
Nude tones, questionable footwear and a touch of sparkle – unmistakably Jenny from the block. *Inserts pic of dejected Ben Affleck smoking a cigarette*. We don’t blame him for wanting to stay home.
Cardi B
Cardi, sweety, you will NEVER be her. Good luck with claiming that crown you dream of.