Quick sip: Dressed up and ready for Doomsday
Next stop, the Twilight Zone!
Twenty-something days into 2025, and it feels like it's been 84 years. As with every January, this a**hole of a month manages to outdo the last one—more natural disasters, more needless conflicts, more iconic figures lost, and now, this circus. We’re on our hands and knees—begging, PLEADING—for the universe to sink this ship already.
Alas, this tea’s about to get cold, so let’s just get straight to it.
POLITIK?
☕️ Cheeto the convicted felon and his right-hand woman on Dooms Inauguration Day. These people aren’t going anywhere, so let’s engage our wits and approach this with clarity shall we? Confronting what is uncomfortable—especially when it’s undeniably crafted to catch the eye—enriches our understanding of fashion and culture. The key is to face reality and call things as they are, whether objectively beautiful or ugly, without conflating that observation with endorsement.
Take the claims—often seen in online comments—that discussing Trump-adjacent fashion automatically equates to glorifying fascism. Let’s unpack that. It’s entirely possible to critique something thoughtfully, acknowledge its aesthetic appeal, and still condemn its broader implications. Recognising the calculated, "neutral" visual language of fascism—and understanding its dangerous consequences—requires both intelligence and discernment. Whether Vogue or Suzy Menkes have the range to tackle this beast is debatable—a lousy article or flippant caption simply won’t cut it.
In these deeply unserious times, we need a space where the girls can serve the real tea with intellectual integrity. Bella Freud, if your couch is big enough for a May Gemini or two…
…exactly!
☕️ As for the Inauguration fits, Melania’s boater-style toque (Eric Javits), that matched the navy double-breasted coat, designed by Adam Lippes, might’ve been all the rage if someone else had worn it. Because can you imagine that look on someone with more depth and grace, like Angelina Jolie during her Maria press tour? Now, she would’ve served a clean plate—ate off the bone. Unfortunately, beautiful clothes lose their lustre when worn by ghastly figures.
For the First Lady’s second look—a walking question mark in distress, co-designed with her stylist Hervé Pierre.
We won’t hold space for Usha’s sequin number. But Ivanka in that custom Givenchy gown? Let’s just say—you can take the girl out of Trump Tower, but you can’t take Trump Tower outta the girl.
☕️ The entire affair could be lightly summed up as clowns deluding themselves into thinking they’re royalty. It’s also hard to overlook the striking parallels between the Trumps’ style and that of the British Royal Family—who, we’d argue, heavily influenced their fashion choices. There’s a full rundown on the connection right here if you care.
ANYWAY, to the real fashions!
FASHUN
☕️ Prada: clearly Raf took the wheel for this collection, which might’ve sent us into a tizzy—if we weren’t already knee-deep in Miuccia's tea. Girls, we were this week’s old when we learned that Mrs. Prada and her husband, Patrizio Bertelli, were under investigation in 2014 as part of a tax avoidance probe by Milan prosecutors. By 2016, both had paid over 400 million euros ($429 million) to settle their tax positions. Oh madre—no one can be trusted.
☕️ Alessandro Sartori, though—take our coins, king! Zegna delivered. The chocolatey brown looks, tinged with a spill of Côtes du Rhône, were mouth-wateringly delicious. Anyone else catch Severance actor John Turturro ditching Irving’s corporate-core for something more Milanese on the runway? Burt G must be kicking himself.
☕️ Stefano and Domenico stealing Gucci’s swag was interesting, we’ll give them that. There were far too many good looks in that collection, but we remain unmoved. When it comes to D&G—we will resist!
☕️ Daniel Lee parting ways with Burberry? Just as well—Jil Sander seems like a better fit. But it does make us wonder: where are Luke and Lucie Meier headed?
☕️ Also, we can’t help but love when couples join forces to create beautiful things together. Take the Proenza boys—once an item, the pair are now rumoured to be taking the reigns at Loewe. Meanwhile, Jonathan Anderson is allegedly poised to take his rightful place on the throne at Dior. Kim Jones is probably shaking in the Menswear corner, as he should be—time’s ticking for that one.
☕️ Pharrell and Nigo’s collaboration on Louis Vuitton’s F/W 2025 men’s collection came across as a coded dialogue between two longtime partners, reflecting their shared aesthetic and personal style preferences. However, the result struggles to resonate in a post-Virgil world—it felt slightly off.
☕️ Nick Cave describing the British lad suits that cling to the leg as 'grotesque' on Fashion Neurosis. Our kinda guy. And yes, we’re aware that we’ve name-dropped the pod twice, but can we just say—it feels like an antidote in a world where human civilisation (or life itself) often seems on the brink of collapse. More of this, please.
☕️ And less of this: Sunnei’s pixelated genitals on their website feels reminiscent of the Balenciaga controversy—though this time, the subjects are adults, which doesn't necessarily make it any more acceptable. The brand may want to focus more on showcasing their products and avoid venturing into questionable territory. Gimmicks like this might be better left to Demna.