Met Gala '25: Pure pinstripe blindness
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Happy Rihanna pregnancy reveal Met Gala red carpet review day to all who celebrate.
Who nailed the Superfine: Tailoring Black Style brief, who tapped out, and who served Pimp Chronicles realness? Cups out—let's go!
Rihanna
Verity: Madre: late, pregnant and in Marc Jacobs. Kholi, your crystal ball’s working overtime.
Kholi: I saw this coming. Madre’s become a bit too predictable for my taste. Solid look, but nowhere near iconic.
A$AP Rocky
V: Padre, co-chair and co-conspirator, in AWGE and a pistol-handled umbrella. Harlem homage or legal foreshadowing? Up to you.
K: Carrying an umbrella that looks like a gun? Clever. He said, “man down, case closed.” Back to being a fashion heaux killer.
Chappell Roan
V: Chappell playing it her way in disco drag and eBay sparkle—tailored, yes, but please make it Superfly.
K: There’s a Stargiiirl, waiting in the sky. She’d like to come and meet us, but she thinks she’d blow our minds...
Spoiler alert: She didn’t.
Charli xcx
K: The scarecrow who terrified the pimp.
V: LOL. Was it on theme? Debatable. Was it peak Charli? Undeniable. Ann Demeulemeester never looked so unbothered.
Cardi B
V: You know the sludge in a bag of out-of-date spinach? That.
K: Oh, you mean those overpriced kale chips? I kinda love it. It’s giving ‘money moves’ in Burberry.
Bad Bunny
V: Emotional baggage, but make it Prada. I’m not not mad about it.
K: Kind of obsessed with how the styling feels like a continuation of his Count Axel look from last year. Same character, different story.
Tyla
K: Jacquemus. The stale wig. Yoh! Poor girl, not even Law Roach could save her.
V: I’m sorry. Love her, but this was a weak effort. It’s giving Zara bedsheets.
André 3000
V: André masquerading as a removals guy in Lower Manhattan. SCREAMING.
K: Now, this is what you call great, carefully considered styling. Paying homage to all the artists who came before him. Exactly!
Jeremy Pope
K: Tyla, André 3000 and Jeremy Pope were all styled by Law ‘retired where?’ Roach. Interesting.
V: Perhaps he’s supplementing his pension? Anyway, unconvinced by the fit. Fully convinced by the arm routine.
K: Convinced, sold, obsessed.
Kylie Jenner
V: I hate to admit it, but Kylie’s look is surprisingly tolerable. Chic, even.
K: Only because Maximilian Davis designed it. Superfine damsel!
Colman Domingo
V: Yessss, Colman! Serving c*nt on arrival and for the encore. Brooch is slightly SATC-coded, but forgiven.
K: Tugging at Alessandro’s inches, SCREAMING with joy and elation. I think I’ve officially fallen for this Valentino union. That blue cape had to be an ALT homage.
Nicki Minaj
V: On-theme but unforgettable. *Sigh*
K: A fourth Law Roach client. The nursing bra is unforgivable, but honestly… I think it’s the best she’s ever looked.
Pharrell Williams
V: No because I need to see evidence of this man aging. Wearing custom Louis V and not a single wrinkle—in the suit or the face.
K: Ageless, immaculate, and useless at everything else. Just look at the crimes he committed for Louis Vuitton…
Exhibit A:
Sabrina Carpenter
V: No trousers. No surprises. Business as usual.
K: Sabrina, girl, not everything’s a beauty pageant. Please, please, please don’t make me call the fashion police.
V: Joan!
K: Exhibit B:
Doechii
K: Hiding her outfit like she was about to pull off an iconic reveal, only to step out in monograms and Mary Janes? Corny as hell.
V: First Met, no nerves. For me, Doechii’s debut was crisp, cocky and cooler than half the veterans.
K: We’ll have to agree to disagree.
Zendaya
V: Sleek yet softly bridal. Not really Met-iconic, but tbh—Law’s not ready to give his daughter away to Tom just yet.
K: Not a crime. I’ll allow this yawn fest. It’s giving ‘just here to observe, not really partake as I’ve served, many times over.’
Barry Keoghan
K: I just wish he’d gone more dramatic with the hair. Give us an Ellen DeGeneres highlight, don’t be shy, sis!
V: If Ringo Starr were dead, he’d be rolling in his grave.
Cynthia Erivo
V: Question, is she hiding Blackiana under there?
K: SCREAM! Don’t joke like that. You know the delulus are already saying they were rug munching. Don’t give them more ammo.
Tramell Tillman
V: I am obsessed with this man. Trading Lumon’s crisp whites for velvet tails and a fabulous brooch. Personally, I can’t cope.
K: A cropped jacket would’ve been the cherry on top. As is, it’s leaning a bit too costume-y.
Kim Kardashian
K: Looks like she’s finally stepping into mother’s shoes... ready to run the game and collect her cut.
V: Blake Lively that you?
Miley Cyrus
V: Swiping Madame Tesla’s cropped croc jacket to complete her all-black ensemble. Miley has a type, clearly.
K: Pieter Mulier making Alaïa look bargain-bin is such a letdown. I’m not usually one for references, but she would’ve slayed in the iconic crocodile tailcoat from the 2003 Haute Couture collection.
Jennie
K: Nothing worth clutching your pearls over.
V: What’s black, white and done to death? (See above)
Doja Cat
V: Nosferatu on the top, Pat Butcher on the bottom.
K: Stuck in perpetual camp land. Exhausting.
Halle Berry
V: Props to Halle for having the balls to wear this—too bad we can almost see them.
K: OOP! Catwoman is no p*ssy, I’ll give her that.
Ayo Edebiri
V: Love the homage to Ayo’s Nigerian roots, but those sheer gloves? I'm already anxious. One snag and it’s game over.
K: Not sold. The dress could’ve been incredible on its own, but the mishmash of influences doesn’t gel. Is she praising her heritage or subduing it?
Shaboozey
V: Category is: turquoise beaded car seat cover realness Love his grillz, though.
K: Anyways, see, now this I can get behind. Ayo and Shaboozey both blending their heritage, but only the latter’s making it to the finale.
Jodie Turner-Smith
V: Willy Wonka with more c*nt. My mum would kill me for using the c-word again.
K: Resplendent! It’s giving ‘Madame Divorcé, with the audacity to wear the blood of her ex, stained in that embossed leather coat.’ Joshua Jackson, you were NEVER worthy!
Lewis Hamilton
V: Every stitch, shell and shimmer was deliberate. Dare I say Lewis ate? Please. He’s in Wales Bonner—he devoured.
K: Certified platinum in L’homme Olympics.
Hunter Schafer
V: Table for two at Hunter’s fancy French restaurant? Tipping optional.
K: Hunter, darling, thanks for serving. Compliments to the chef.
Babyface
V: I have this urge to just rub up against Babyface—completely non-sexually. He just looks so… textured.
K: This is the kind of look that would send the uncles in Kinshasa into a frenzy. La Sape would be shook!
Madonna
K: All dressed up to snatch her gays back like property. Control it, Madge!
V: Someone’s mad at Gaga for stealing her Copacabana limelight. Back to reclaim her Met throne—cigar in hand—trouser hems soaked in ego.
Janelle Monáe
V: Did you see the nautical nipple tassels Janelle was hiding under there?
K: 10/10. No notes.
Amelia Gray
V: Is that a durag? I’m so embarrassed for her.
K: Looking like the spawn of HIM.
FKA Twigs
V: Digging the full bush but not sure this was the on-theme? Whatever, we stan a Wales Bonner moment.
K: Category is: the one, the only, Josephine Baker. Fab!
Lauryn Hill
V: It’s giving buttery chic—but if that Kelly bag came from a warehouse in Shenzhen, I’m gonna need a lie-down.
K: So glad she finally aligned her energy with time, prompt AND on theme. The Re-education of Lauryn Hill? We’re witnessing it.